Last week, my niece directed me to a story about 13 male dentistry students at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia. In December of 2014, it was revealed that the men were part of a Facebook group page called Class of DDS 2015 Gentleman’s club. The page contained sexually explicit posts discussing using chloroform and votes on who they would like to have “hate sex’ with. The men were suspended for two months and ordered to undergo a “restorative justice program,” which included classes on communication and professionalism. All but one of the men walked in this spring’s graduation ceremony. You can read a bit more HERE
At this same time, elsewhere on campus, an Instagram scandal erupted. An Instagram account known as the DalJungle, featuring photos of drunk and naked men began circulating campus. Included in the photos of college men without pants were photos of couples having sex and a female student performing oral sex on a male student; it was unclear if the woman in the photo was aware that she was being photographed. As a result of the scandal, several students were removed from campus housing. You can read more about that story HERE.
There is much to be addressed in both these stories, but in light of the on going Bill Cosby story, I wanted to focus on two elements only: using chloroform on women and posting sexually explicit photographs on social media. Both these practices seem to me both foreign and, well, sick. Both also seem to suggest a certain hatred and fear of women.
It may be a generational thing, but I simply don’t understand the attraction of posting nude and or sexually explicit photo’s of oneself on social media. Who is it exactly that is supposed to be getting off on these photos, the one posting the photo or the one viewing the photo? No offense to any of my friends, but I can’t think of one friend – male or female – that I would want to see having sex. I just don’t want to see that. Nor do I want anyone to see me having sex. I don’t want to see me having sex! So, this idea of posting photo’s is something I can’t grasp. This is no doubt a page created by men, which is also confusing. In pornography, men typically find other men superfluous. In other words, the guy is there as a substitute for the man watching the pornography. Guys who are into women like watching women, not guys. I dare say, that men who like men, find women in pornography rather a waste of time. Hold this thought.
It also strikes me as a rather mean spirited prank to photograph one’s partner and post photos for their friends and classmates to see. I can’t imagine that a man who does that actually likes the woman he is with. In fact, it makes me wonder if he likes women at all. So, here is a guy who doesn’t like women, posting photographs of himself for other men to look at…As Dennis Leary used to say, “I think you hear me knocking and I think I’m coming in!”
More significantly, however, is this issue of drugging women before having sex. As a man who truly enjoys having sex with women, it is difficult to understand the attraction of having sex with a woman who doesn’t move, respond, or who is even aware that she is with you. What’s more, a woman who may be puking from the chloroform.
Rape is not about sex, its about power, humiliation and a bunch of other things that generally point to some pathology. But it is also about fear and in cases like this, I wonder if it isn’t fear of a woman’s power.
Camille Paglia planted this seed in my head in this interview and I think she is on to something. Imagine a man like Bill Cosby or even a senior dentistry student having to resort to knock out drugs in order to have sex with a woman. One would imagine a healthy pool of willing candidates available for both Cosby and medical students. The problem with women who are awake is that they CAN respond. For instance, a woman might respond that “You don’t know how to make love very well.” Or she might not swoon at the sight of your small manhood. (Shrinkage!) A woman might complain that she isn’t finding your sex satisfying. And more.
Or maybe it has something to do with mother issues, with attempting to silence an over bearing mother. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Or maybe is has to do with the idea of finding something attractive – even sexual – in women being dead. Nothing says, “I love you” like having sex with an unresponsive and unconscious woman.
I would like to think that this sort of thing is in the minority, that it is some fetish only found among dentistry students in Canada or 80 year old comedians. Please tell me that I am correct.